


Lonely (Not Anymore)

by MistoElectra



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hermann Gottlieb Has MS, Lars Gottlieb Being a Dick, Lars Gottlieb's A+ Parenting, M/M, Operation Pitfall (Pacific Rim), completely ignores uprising, only mentions of hermann's siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21602050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistoElectra/pseuds/MistoElectra
Summary: It strikes Newt as he’s halfway through his tenth cup of coffee and his forty second hour awake that in all the time they’ve been stationed in Hong Kong together, Hermann has never had a single visitor.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Comments: 4
Kudos: 149





	Lonely (Not Anymore)

It strikes Newt as he’s halfway through his tenth cup of coffee and his forty second hour awake that in all the time they’ve been stationed in Hong Kong together, Hermann has never had a single visitor. Of course, right now none of them are getting visitors, not with the kaiju coming so frequently, but back in the earlier days, visitors weren’t uncommon. Family usually. Hell, Newt’s own dad and uncle had been to the Shatterdome three times before the attacks grew too frequent and travel costs got too expensive and the situation just became too dangerous to allow it. But not once has Newt seen hide nor hair of any of the other Gottliebs, and he wouldn’t even have to take his socks off to count the number of times he’s seen a personal letter or parcel delivered to the mathematician. Sure, occasionally Dr Gottlieb Sr appears on tv to spout some more bullshit about the Wall of Life project, and afterwards Hermann always looks a strange combination of violently angry and like he wants to cry. Newt always leaves him alone at times like that. He’s an asshole and so is Hermann, but even his limited social skills tell him that that’s one line he really shouldn’t cross.

He knows a little bit about Hermann’s family, things that he had gleaned from their years writing letters to each other. He knows that Hermann’s mother passed when he was thirteen, that Lars Gottlieb has always ruled the family with an iron fist and that, for all intents and purposes, Hermann’s elder brother Dietrich is a carbon copy of their father, but with more brawn and less brains. He knows that his elder sister Karla works as a translator, that she pissed off their father by marrying a farmer and that Hermann likes her a sight better than he does Dietrich. He knows that the baby of the family, Bastien had just finished studying history at the time they’d stopped writing.

Admittedly, his data is like eight years out of date.

But still, he would have presumed that there’d be something. His dad and uncle like to send him regular letters (emails too, of course, and skype calls, but there was something thrilling about a letter) not to mention frequent care packages, filled with little things like his favourite brand of coffee, or some of his clothes that he’d left behind, or sweets, or his old Godzilla mug. The only parcels he’s ever seen Hermann get have been scientific journals, things that he’s ordered himself. And it makes him kinda sad. And so he makes a mental note to mention to his dad in their next email. Maybe he can send some of that tea Hermann loves so much.

*****

They’ve done it. They’ve won. The breach is closed, the Kaiju are gone and even though its late, the entire Shatterdome is still wide awake. They’ve dragged Mako and Raleigh back to shore, and the two have been paraded around as heroes, but what’s surprised Newt is the reaction to him and Hermann. Sure, he knows that it’s thanks to them that they won, that they were able to destroy the Breach, but, much as he despises it, he’s been pretty used to the K-Science division being by and large ignored for the past five years. And yet everywhere he turns, people are clapping him on the back, congratulating him, offering him drinks and really he’s beginning to lose the ability to cope. It’s all a bit too much, a bit too loud, too crowded, and right now all he really wants is Hermann.

They drifted. They’re drift compatible.

It’s a funky thought, he thinks, as he pushes through the last dregs of the crowd into the hall. No one would have ever thought to test them for drift compatibility. The concept has always seemed to involve physical sparring, but now Newt thinks about it, Hermann and he have been sparring for years, just verbally instead of physically. God knows nobody can argue like the two of them, half the PPDC can attest to that. 

And of course now he knows things about Hermann he didn’t before. There’s no hiding things in the drift after all, even if you’re focusing on what the hell is going with the monsters erupting from the ocean. One of the things he hadn’t been able to help but notice was some of the similarities between their childhoods. Both child prodigies, both isolated by their peers. But where Newt had had his dad and uncle to fall back on, to support him, Hermann had been left with only the stone-cold front of Lars Gottlieb. He’d seen so much in the drift; Hermann’s childhood desire to be a pilot, then an astronaut, fascinated with space, the bullying from the other children, harsh words, followed by harsh fists. He’d seen the pressure that Lars had put on Hermann from the instant he’d shown an aptitude in mathematics, the disappointment in Lars’ expression at Hermann’s diagnosis, the disapproving look at Hermann’s tears upon his mother’s death. He’d seen Hermann’s desperate hope for connection as father and son worked together on the Jaeger program, only for that hope to flicker out.

He’d seen their first meeting from Hermann’s perspective.

That had been a real mess. He’s got no doubt that Hermann also got some messed up shit from him too, but one of the things he’s holding onto is the fact that he now knows Hermann doesn’t hate him anywhere near as much as he might want to. At the end of the day, whether they like it or not, they’re each other’s closest friends. They know each other better than anyone else, did so even before they drifted, and part of that is how Newt knows where to find his lab partner.

He’s quiet as he pushes the door to the lab open. The lights are on, but at a low level, dim but not enough that his eyesight has to adjust (even if one eye is vaguely fucked right now, they should really get medical to look at that at some point) and he can see Hermann across the space. The other is standing a few feet in front of his towering chalkboards, leaning heavily on his cane. He’s still as a statue, just staring at the chalkboards, at the scribbled equations and formulae. Newt doesn’t need the ghost drift to know how he’s feeling, because it’s hitting him now too. The breach is closed, and, as far as they can probably tell, their jobs are now obsolete. The most likely event now is that the Shatterdome will be shut down, its employees sent back to some semblance of normal life. Everything they’ve worked on for the past…well, the past decade is done. He’s probably going to have to go back to academia. That’s going to be an interesting transition.

But for now, they’re here. They’re here and they’ve got each other, and if Hermann is feeling anything like he is (He is, Newt can tell), then he’s absolutely bone tired. Slowly, Newt approaches, reaching out to lay a hand lightly on Hermann’s shoulder. Hermann startles, broken from whatever complicated thoughts he was lost in, and he turns to look at Newt, his face pale and drawn, eyes wide, mouth half open as if he’s trying to say something but can’t quite get it out. There’s so much flickering behind his brown eyes that Newt can’t help but pull him into a hug, ignoring Hermann’s PDA rules for now, and he can feel skinny arms wind around his waist in return, Hermann pressing his face into the shoulder of his jacket as thin shoulders tremble slightly.

“It’s okay, buddy. I know,” Newt murmurs, “I got you.”

Newt manages to guide Hermann back to his quarters, and when Hermann gives him a pleading look, he doesn’t have any hesitation in staying with him for the night. And if the two of them cling to each other all night, well, it’s nobody’s business but their own.

******

It’s three weeks later, three Kaiju-free weeks later, that Hermann finally gets a visitor. They have been notified of course that the Shatterdome is indeed being decommissioned. The threat is gone, for good it seems, and so it’s no longer necessary to keep it running, especially not when it had been in the process of shutting down anyway. And while there haven’t been any Kaiju to worry about, they’ve been far from idle. There’s been the clear-up for one, and Newt has been rapidly been categorising and examining as much of the remains as he’s been able to, noting down any last discoveries, as well as clearing up all of his old shit. Much to his slight disappointment, most of his samples are going to be destroyed, the rest placed in museums. Hermann hasn’t stopped scribbling either, doing his best to calculate the probability of everything going to shit again. He can’t be 100% certain, but apparently the likelihood of another Kaiju is pretty small at this point. The world can breathe again.

A world which, somewhat amusingly, adores them. Of course, Newt had pretty much expected the world to fall into worship of Mako and Raleigh, the heroes who saved the world. But the world has equally turned to him and Hermann, intense questions about the Breach, about the Kaiju, about their drift. They’ve agreed on a lecture tour, visiting a variety of universities and such, but that’s not for a few weeks yet.

For now, the Shatterdome has a visitor.

They’re in the lab, Hermann poring over some data, Newt elbows deep in a Kaiju stomach, when Herc- Marshal Hansen- walks in, followed closely by a tall, stern looking man who Newt would recognise anywhere, not even because of the drift or the tv appearances, but purely because he has the same eyes as Hermann. Except where Hermann’s eyes are very much the windows to his soul, frequently filled with a slight mirth, or disdain or utter despair, this man’s eyes are cold and dead.

The moment Lars Gottlieb enters the lab, Hermann snaps to attention, only fumbling slightly for his cane. The tension in the room rises perceptibly, and Herc, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation, excuses himself, flashing Newt a look of apology before ducking out, leaving just the three of them. And right now, with the silent staring match that seems to be going on between father and son, he feels like a really awkward sort of third wheel, barely daring to move in case he becomes the focus of those glares. 

“Father,” Hermann eventually says, his voice curt and clipped, like he’d much rather be calling him a variety of other names. His expression is steely, but even from here Newt can see the flicker of nervousness, the uncertainty, and he wants to wrap him up in a hug. Instead he just quietly slips out of the biohazard gloves, ready to jump to the rescue if he’s needed.

“Hermann,” Lars’ voice is equally as clipped, and Newt is pretty sure he just got frostbite from the chill in it. He could never imagine his dad saying something in a tone of voice like that, not seriously anyway.

“I trust that you are finally going to come to your senses now that the war is over?”

Newt’s mouth gapes. Is this guy seriously still running his Wall of Life pitch? Even though Mutavore had torn through it like it was paper? Even though he was standing in a room with the people responsible for figuring out how to close the Breach and end this whole goddamn thing?

“And what senses would those be, Father? The senses that correctly told me to remain in my position and work to close the Breach over joining you on your…your program? Or your senses, which thought that building a wall was really going to keep the Kaiju out? A wall which Mutavore tore through in less than an hour, despite your testament that it would be impenetrable by any category fours.”

If Newt hadn’t been gaping before, he certainly was now. He wasn’t sure Hermann had ever stood up to his father in such a way before, and he couldn’t deny that it was kinda…hot. During his brief rant, Hermann had crossed from his desk to stand directly in front of his father, glowering up at him. Lars Gottlieb had a good few inches on his son, and right now Newt could see the older man practically bristling with restrained anger.

“Hermann,” Lars began again, speaking as if to some sort of impertinent puppy, “The coastal wall program protected a great many lives. From what I can see, your little spree destroyed half of Hong Kong. Not to mention the damage done to the Pacific Ocean in the process. And you can hardly begin to imagine the backlash to the family reputation as the world talks about how you attempted to drift with a Kaiju, a monumentally idiotic idea, even for yo-“

“Hey!”

Newt has to cut him off, can’t just stand here and say nothing because he can see how Hermann’s knuckles have grown white on the head of his cane, the tremble in his bad leg that hints that today is not a good pain day, the twist at the corner of his mouth. He’s known Hermann long enough to be able to understand him like this, and sure, he might throw casual insults at him all the time, but they never mean anything.

“And you are?”

“Doctor Newton Geiszler. Six PhDs. Smarter than you. Not that that’s difficult, man, like Herms said, you really thought a wall was gonna keep the Kaiju out? Dude, one of the last ones we got through the Breach had wings, it would have shit on your wall. And for the record, your wall would have done squat against the triple event we had. Which, ding ding ding, Hermann predicted! Because surprise, dude, your kid’s a fucking genius, even if you can’t see it. He actually coded the original Jaegers while you acted as a figurehead. He was able to engineer a program to be able to predict where and when the Kaiju would appear and what category we’d be dealing with, so we could be adequately prepared, and guess what, he was right with that! He figured out how to seal the Breach, all while you were sitting on your ass, hiding behind your stupid little wall. So really, if anyone had a monumentally idiotic idea, that would be you, not Hermann. So why don’t you and your stupid concept of a family reputation suck it and go back to Bavaria, because this man right here is a fricking war hero, and I love him, and you’re worth squat. Bye bye!”

With that, and probably all the courage he has, he somehow manages to turn Lars Gottlieb around and shove him right back out the door to the lab, the elder man’s face frozen in a rather comic mixture of rage and surprise. For good measure, he locks the door after him, before he turns back to Hermann, who has collapsed into his chair, cane dropped to the floor. Newt wastes no time in darting back to his side, kneeling by Hermann’s side and placing a reassuring hand on his knee.

“Herms? You okay buddy? You need your painkillers?”

Hermann shakes his head, looking at him with a strange sort of consternation before he finally manages to speak, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what? That your dad’s an idiot? Because yes. Or that you’re a genius? Because also yes, pretty sure we’ve been through that one before-“

“That you love me.”

Ah.

“Well…” Newt bites his lip, looking up at Hermann, his heart suddenly racing in his chest, “Yeah, dude. I mean…I figured you kne-“

But before he can go any further, Hermann’s hand locks in the front of his shirt, and next thing he knows, their lips are crushed together and holy shit, Hermann is kissing him, and he’s maybe just a little bit dreamed about this more or less since they’d been writing? And it’s messy, and their teeth clack, and neither of them really know what they’re doing, but it’s wonderful in a way he can’t put into words. When they finally pull apart, gasping for air, they still cling to each other, neither wanting to let go.

"I love you too Newton."

Oh yeah, Newt’s in love alright.


End file.
